Ever had that kind of enthusiasm before New Year? The kind where you say to yourself “This will be the year, my year.” Well, that was me before the end of 2017. I was really optimistic with all that is to come this 2018; I was armed with my vision board, new handy planner, and plans to have the greatest year ever.
For the first half of 2018, I have already gone to and experienced events that were very memorable. I have gone to the craziest booksale to ever arrive in the country, attended a women’s summit for the first time, travelled to a place where I get to be myself, bonded greatly with my family, attended two concerts, got promoted at work and recently got engaged.
But what is the title about? My year started off great, what was there to be sad about?
My year slowed down at July and I had no energy to be optimistic about. I just had a feeling that something was coming after all that excitement, which turned out to be true.
The thing is there are two people, who are currently far away from home, that I really really want to be with right now.
Last September, our father had a heart attack at work and he needed to have a triple bypass operation; I got the news when my mother, crying on the other line, called me during a meeting. To cut the long story short, it was decided that our mother will fly to Gemany to be with our father while he recovers from the operation.
It has been a month now and my dad’s recovery has been a slow progress. I am not complaining on the slow recovery first off, I’m just here to write how I have been feeling for weeks now.
I guess, I got so fed up with all that happened this year. I was happy, the happiest I have ever been for years and it seemed like the universe came to take it all back.
I know our family will be able to get through this and I need to be tough and put a brave face on so that my siblings can also have a positive outlook, but it’s been so hard for the past few days. It has been really really hard. With our parents not home, and us getting our shits together to not get our mother worried. I’ve been too down lately.
I’ve already broke down in front of my fiancé a lot of times and I don’t have the energy to push through at work and at home. I had filed for leaves just to recover but after that I’ll be stuck again on my sad bubble and get sick.
I don’t know how long will this struggle will be, but I’ll put my faith up to God and the universe. I know He has a plan for me and I will be putting it all up to Him.